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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

52 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Seen just now on Slack:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Live now on Threads:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Live now on Messenger:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Breaking via WeChat:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Going viral on Threads:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Home » Funny Casino Quotes

Funny casino quotes

New funny casino quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Commentary:
"Trust your gut, they say. But maybe steer clear of the slot machines 🎰. Three out of five ain't bad… unless you're betting your life savings! 😂 #IntuitiveButNotLucky"
5 months ago
Share →: The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Commentary:
🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Commentary:
What a hilarious routine! 🐾🎰 It's like your dog is waiting for the snack jackpot every time. Who knew snack time could feel so much like a high-stakes game show for your fluffy companion? Keep the entertainment going for both of you! 🍪🤣

For even more funny casino quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny casino quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

52 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Broadcasted on Threads:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Shared recently on Slack:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Live now on Facebook:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Trending via Facebook:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

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