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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has downloaded:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, β€œthat’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Just shared via Twitch:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Trending via Discord:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Spotted on Twitch:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Just landed via X:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Funny casino quotes

Funny casino quotes bring the thrill of the game 🎲 with a splash of humor πŸ˜‚ and a pinch of luck πŸ€. Whether you’re a high roller or just spinning the slots for fun, these witty lines capture the excitement and quirks of casino life 🎰. Get ready to laugh your chips off and see the lighter side of Lady Luck! πŸŽ‰πŸ’Έ

New funny casino quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny casino quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much β€œpenetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The feminine urge to start a coven.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

If β€œlive each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has shared:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has viewed:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via X:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Just shared via Discord:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Going viral on Messenger:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Freshly posted on X:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Spotted on YouTube:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Making waves on Twitch:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Spotted on WeChat:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

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