Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Blink if you want me!

Just landed via TikTok:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Trending via Twitch:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Just landed via TikTok:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Funny CEO quotes

Funny CEO quotes bring a little humor to the serious world of business 😄📈 Whether it’s witty one-liners or clever observations, these gems remind us that even top bosses have a playful side 🎉💼 Ready to laugh and get inspired? Let’s dive into the lighter moments from the boardroom! 😂🚀

New funny CEO quotes 👇

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

0

2 months ago

billionaire, CEO, corporate, disparity, economic, economic disparity, employee, employee salary, employees, experiment, hear, humor, live, me, month, ok, reality, reality show, salary, satire, show, social, social experiment, where, workplace
Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, CEO, debate, head, head of state, heads, humor, kitchen, media, online, online debate, only, place, sleep, sleeping, social, social media, state, states, Twitter, while
“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

0

2 months ago

average, books, CEO, else, humor, nothing, productivity, reading, sarcasm, time, year
I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

0

2 months ago

Blockbuster, call, CEO, confirm, humor, job, job title, joke, nostalgia, put, resume, store, title, video, video store
That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

0

5 months ago

accountability, accountable, celebrity, CEO, Coldplay, comparison, guy, held, humor, politics, president, satire

All funny CEO quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Spotted on Facebook:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

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