103 Funny Christmas quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

  Commentary:
  "Santa baby, forget the fancy gifts, just give me some mental stability this year! 🎅🧠 Oh, what a merry and mentally sound Christmas it would be! 🎄😄 #Priorities"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

  Commentary:
  "Channeling my inner Dickens this Christmas – Bah humbug to wealth, hello to the joy of being broke! 🎩💸 #LivingTheVictorianLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

  Commentary:
  🍫🎄 "Well, it looks like your chocolate advent calendar is ahead of its time – maybe it's eager for Christmas just like the rest of us! Who needs a calendar when you have chocolate telling you the future? Watch out for the wise-cracking chocolate on Christmas Eve! 😉🍫"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

  Commentary:
  🎄🐱 It's time for the annual battle of Cat vs. Christmas Tree! Will the tree survive the day of feline antics, or will it be adorned with ornaments of mischief and mischief only? Stay tuned for the purr-fect drama! 😸 #CatmasTreeMayhem

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is celebrating "Me-mas" instead of Christmas this year 😂📦🎄 Who needs to shop for others when you can treat yourself, right? Enjoy those packages, you deserve it!🎁🎁🎁

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

  Commentary:
  🎄🎵 Oh dear, are we reaching our jingle bell limit? Maybe we should gift-wrap the existing Christmas songs and save ourselves from a musical snowstorm! Let's leave space for the reindeer to dance, shall we? 🎅🎶 #EnoughIsEnough

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

  Commentary:
  "Christmas: the season of expanding waistlines and expanding fibs to the little ones! 🎅🍪🤥🎄 Who says you can't indulge in both delicious treats and creative storytelling at the same time? It's all in the holiday spirit! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone went from spreading holiday cheer to spreading rumors! 🎅🏼🎶 Sending heartfelt gifts to detention centers… talk about a plot twist! 🎁😅 #HolidayDrama

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about fast-forwarding to the holiday drama! 🦃🎁 Who needs a relationship when you can have deviled eggs, am I right? 😂 #ThanksgivingFeastsAndBreakupBeasts"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

  Commentary:
  🦌 Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight! Because apparently, my phone's brightness setting is no match for your shiny nose! 🔦📱 #ChristmasMiracles #WhereMyPhoneAt

For even more funny Christmas quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Christmas quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌