209 Funny daily quotes

• Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

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  1 week ago

  brush, daily, daily routine, face, forget, hair, humor, hygiene, media, posts, routine, self-care, share, sharing, social, social media, teeth

• Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

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  1 week ago

  daily, daily routine, everyday, everyday life, food, fridge, humor, humor quote, life, routine, snack

• If every day is a gift, today is socks.

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  2 weeks ago

  daily, daily life, day, every, everyday, gift, humor, humor quote, life, sarcasm, socks, today

• Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

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  2 weeks ago

  daily, daily mood, days, disapproval, head, head shake, humor, mood, myself, self-criticism, self-deprecating, shake, shaking

• I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

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  2 weeks ago

  activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, fun, fun activity, humor, hunt, i, keys, late, me, myself, procrastination, punctuality, put, routine, same, spot, treasure, treasure hunt, why

• I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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  2 weeks ago

  achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear

• This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

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  2 weeks ago

  body, bomb, daily, daily routine, dark, dark humor, day, every, exaggeration, humor, i, irony, routine, self-deprecation, suicide, suicide bomb, temple

• Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

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  2 weeks ago

  awkward, daily, embarrassing, humor, just, life, mishap, moments, much, pretty, relatable, series, snacks

• Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

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  2 weeks ago

  another, beautiful, beautiful day, daily, daily life, day, humor, irony, life, procrastination, responsibility, ruined, stress, work

• I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

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  2 weeks ago

  daily, daily life, determination, drive, driveway, family, flipping, humor, i, life, patience, perseverance, pull, radio, radio station, relationship, station, stations, still, through, wife, wish

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