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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Trending via Pinterest:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Seen just now on Threads:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Freshly posted on Slack:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

5 days ago

5, day, exaggeration, having, humor, life, life struggle, long time, rough, rough day, sarcasm, struggle, time
There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

5 days ago

absolutely, day, doing, doing nothing, enough, hours, humor, laziness, me, nothing, procrastination, time
Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

5 days ago

allowed, anger, day, days, difficult, difficult day, frustration, humor, i, myself, patience, people, remind, reminder, self-control, today, where
How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

5 days ago

addiction, beverage, caffeine, coffee, cup, daily, daily intake, day, every, humor, intake, morning, morning routine, ok, pretty, question, routine, sure
Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

6 days ago

bad, bad day, day, end, humor, marriage, relationship, spouse, work
One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

6 days ago

aging, boredom, day, fun, know, next, reason, reflection, staring, thing, window, young, youth
There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

6 days ago

activity, chores, day, day off, humor, laundry, management, nothing, relaxation, rest, should, something, time, time management, weekend
Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

6 days ago

activity, blankets, build, cozy, day, fort, fun, fun activity, imagination, indoor, just, pillows, play, stay, staycation
You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

6 days ago

attitude, bad, bad day, both, day, days, ever, finger, fingers, frustration, funny attitude, humor, humor quote, middle, middle finger, sarcasm
Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

6 days ago

AI, ChatGPT, conversation, coworker, daily, daily life, day, end, every, humor, joke, life, new, office, say, technology, used, workplace

For even more funny day quotes, hit next 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

57 shares on Threads this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

57 shares on X this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Going bananas on Discord:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Breaking via Telegram:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Just landed via Facebook:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Making waves on Threads:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Freshly posted on X:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Just landed via Threads:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Activity Log ✨

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨