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I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

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I avoid drama by being unpopular.

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Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

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Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

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Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

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What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

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Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

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Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

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Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

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Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

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Home Β» Funny Day Quotes Β» Page 46

475 Funny day quotes

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