615 Funny day quotes

• Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  before, day, fashion, humor, laziness, Monday, outfit, same, unnoticed, wear, workweek

• “What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  act, alcohol, buy, cigarettes, day, done, humor, i, kindness, random, random act, stranger, teens

• There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  alarm, alarm clock, better, clock, day, freedom, leisure, next, next day, no work, nothing, relaxation, rest, sleep, work

• “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  bed, day, humor, i, laziness, leaving, life, love, never, work

• I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  always, around, bathrobe, day, fence, going, home, humor, i, neighbors, privacy, privacy fence, start, strategy, walking, wanted, yard

• I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  Alzheimer’s, day, early, every, humor, i, idea, joke, marriage, me, memory, relationship, saw, think, wife

• Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  addiction, caffeine, coffee, day, eye, hear, humor, i, left, second, struggle

• The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  before, best, day, hours, humor, i, minutes, mobile, procrastination, relaxation, sleep, spend, time

• Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  day, deserve, ending, enemy, humor, me, meeting, meetings, office, relationships, sarcastic, work

• Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

  ---

  2 weeks ago

  being, day, day job, having, humor, job, juggling, just, man, modern, modern problems, parker, Patreon, PayPal, peter, Peter Parker, problems, Spider-bio, stupid, superhero, throw

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌