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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

3 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Trending via Discord:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Making waves on Facebook:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Home » Funny Deadline Quotes

Funny deadline quotes

Funny deadline quotes bring a humorous spin to the often stressful world of meeting deadlines. ⏰😄 From witty remarks about procrastination to playful jabs at last-minute rushes, these quotes highlight the lighter side of ticking clocks and due dates. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun in managing deadlines! 😂🗓️

New funny deadline quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Commentary:
Tick-tock, gentlemen! Better bring your 'A' game before the clock strikes "Sorry, time's up!" 🕰️😆✨
2 days ago
Share →: I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Commentary:
Sounds like my superpower is "Procrastination Man" swooping in right before the clock runs out! ⏰🦸‍♂️📚
4 days ago
Share →: I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Commentary:
Oops, looks like I forgot to charge my "kiss commission" fee! 😅💋😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: Please twerk; I have just days left.

Commentary:
"When your last wish is to witness some legendary twerking! 😅💃🕺 #BucketListGoals"
1 month ago
Share →: In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Commentary:
"Better start with a crash course in self-defense via YouTube! 🥋🤣📚"
4 months ago
Share →: Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Commentary:
"Looks like you missed the boat on complaints! 🚢 Better luck next time! ⏳😄"
5 months ago
Share →: All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Commentary:
🤣 "Who needs deadlines when you can have datelines with the special someone? Love knows no bounds, not even the constraints of time 😂💘⏰"
5 months ago
Share →: You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Commentary:
Oh, we're going old school with the romantic demands, aren't we? Better sharpen those quills and get ready to spill some “blood” to win that Valentine's Day prize! 🖋️💉 Let's hope your potential Valentine has a thing for poetic gore and a twisted sense of humor! 🩸😂
6 months ago
Share →: I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Commentary:
"Talk about a dessert dash! 🏃🎂 Who knew intermittent fasting could turn cake into a time trial ⏱️? Hope your taste buds are ready for a speedy indulgence! 😆 #CakeCrunchTime"
6 months ago
Share →: I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Commentary:
"Seems like procrastination is the key to immortality!⏳😂 Who knew deadlines were actually the secret to everlasting life?⏱️💀 #ForeverProcrastinating"

For even more funny deadline quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny deadline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

3 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Going viral on YouTube:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Just shared via WeChat:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Trending via Facebook:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Just landed via X:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Trending via YouTube:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Trending via Snapchat:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

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