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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just shared via Twitch:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Trending via YouTube:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Seen just now on Slack:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

17 Funny demon quotes

Funny demon quotes bring a mischievous twist to your day 😈✨ Perfect for those who love a little dark humor with a wink 😉 From clever comebacks to cheeky one-liners, these devilish sayings will have you laughing in no time 😂🔥 Ready to embrace your inner imp and share some wickedly funny vibes? Let’s dive into the playful side of the underworld! 🎉👹

New funny demon quotes 👇

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

24 hours ago

attitude, back, demon, ever, humor, ID, just, me, possessed, possession, problem, sarcasm, say, sit, wit
Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

1 day ago

actually, astrology, demon, frustration, humor, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, midnight, retrograde, soul, wrap
Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

5 days ago

behind, checking, demon, funny observation, healthy, humor, looks, observation, only, reflection, scary, selfie, surprise
In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

2 months ago

20s, before, dating, demon, dream, dreams, evil, important, light, loser, love, man, narcissist, relationship, run
Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

2 months ago

demon, demons, empty, expression, hell, here, humor, sarcasm
Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

2 months ago

advice, calm, coming, conversation, demon, humor, Lucifer, me, right, thing, yourself
Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

2 months ago

demon, everyone, got, hair, humor, joke, OMG, once, possessed, possession, prank, something, supernatural, transformation
They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

2 months ago

before, demon, eyes, humor, joke, killed, misunderstanding, paranormal, people, photograph, photography, red, stuff, supernatural, superstition, turned
People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

2 months ago

change, demon, eyes, glowing, humor, nostalgia, people, photograph, red, used
One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

2 months ago

attraction, dating, day, demon, humor, love, obsession, relationship, someone

For even more funny demon quotes, hit next 👇

All funny demon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

23 shares on X this month:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Sane is boring.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

94 shares on X this month:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Trending via WeChat:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Trending via Reddit:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Live now on Facebook:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Trending via Snapchat:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Breaking via Slack:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Spotted on WeChat:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

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