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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Just shared via Threads:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Just shared via X:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Body by sandwich.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Just shared via Facebook:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Seen just now on Discord:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on YouTube this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

78 shares on Discord this month:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Going viral on YouTube:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Shared recently on Slack:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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