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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

51 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Freshly posted on X:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Just shared via WeChat:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Live now on X:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Making waves on Messenger:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Going viral on Messenger:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Home » Funny Desk Quotes

Funny desk quotes

Funny desk quotes bring a splash of humor to your workspace 🎉🖥️, turning dull days into moments of laughter 😂 and creativity 💡. Whether you’re battling Monday blues or just need a cheeky pick-me-up, these witty sayings add personality to any desk setup ✨📚. Ready to boost your mood and spark some smiles? Let’s dive into the funniest desk vibes that keep work feeling a little less serious and a lot more fun! 😎🎈

New funny desk quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Commentary:
Feeling fancy while contemplating existential questions with a $19 burger 😎🍔💸
6 months ago
Share →: Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Commentary:
"Sorry to spin out of your hate radius! 🌀💨 Maybe my spinning chair is just dodging all the negativity coming my way! 😄 #OfficeOlympics"
6 months ago
Share →: Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't multitask when it comes to emotional breakdowns? 🤷‍♂️💦 Remember, a good cry at work followed by a cleansing sob in the shower is the new recipe for work-life balance! 😂🚿 #TearsOnTaps"
6 months ago
Share →: My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Commentary:
"Looks like the pens are the real precious assets at that bank! 🖊️💰 Maybe the pens are off on a vacation, spending all that safe money somewhere sunny… 🌴😎 Just don't let them draw on your bank account balance!"
6 months ago
Share →: Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Commentary:
Teenagers have a magical ability to spot the most random things right when they need them the most! 🤣 It's like they have a sixth sense that immediately kicks in when an important school project is due. Who knew that crumpled-up paper could be the key to academic success? 📝 #TeenageTelekinesis
6 months ago
Share →: Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Commentary:
Way to multitask like a pro! 💼💪 Who needs a gym membership when you can just work and work out at the same time. 💪💼 #FitnessGoals #MultiTaskingChamp
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: “Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of our modern lives! 🌞😅 Who needs sunshine when you've got emails to read, right? Keep on shining bright at that desk! 💻☀️"

For even more funny desk quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny desk quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

51 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Breaking via WeChat:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Making waves on Telegram:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Just landed via Messenger:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Just landed via Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Reported on Telegram:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

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