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74 Funny drinking quotes

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

3 months ago

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

3 months ago

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

3 months ago

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

3 months ago

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

3 months ago

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

3 months ago

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

3 months ago

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

3 months ago

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

3 months ago

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

3 months ago

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

3 months ago

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

3 months ago

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

3 months ago

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

3 months ago