39 Funny early quotes

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer's. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025

I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense.

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025

It's not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025