Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive quest for manager enlightenment! 🧘‍♂️🕊️ Perhaps after a week of serene silence, they will return to the chaos feeling even more ‘managerial’ than before. 🌟 Who knew silence could be the key to mastering the art of management? 🤫💼 #ZenManager"

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Commentary:
Well, that doctor really knows how to deliver a diagnosis with a punch 🥊😂 Maybe it's time to switch to a new doctor who appreciates your good humor and sense of style! 💁‍♂️💕

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of official job title skepticism! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe your 'boss' is just a really convincing cosplayer? 🤔 Remember, anyone can claim to be a boss, but leading with style and influence is what truly makes you the boss! 💼💪"

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Commentary:
"Big shoutout to all my fellow poker-faced pals out there! 🃏♠️ Who needs a range of facial expressions when you've got 'resting chill face' mastered? 😎 Keep calm and carry on, you mysterious beings. 🤔😄 #FacialExpressionGameStrong"

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Commentary:
"Who knew the haters were so spot on with their predictions? 🙄 It's almost like they had inside information! 😂 Well, at least they're consistent in their accuracy, right? 🤷‍♂️ Keep shining bright despite those 'correct' haters! 💪✨"

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don't even have a coconut!”

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Commentary:
"Talk about a hair-raising realization! 🥥🚗 Who needs a coconut when you've got coconut-scented hair, am I right? 😂 #ShampooStruggles"

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Commentary:
Looks like that sandwich decided to pull a disappearing act faster than you can say "Abracadabra"! 🥪🎩 Maybe it's off pursuing its dreams of becoming a snack magician! 🧙‍♂️✨ Better luck next time! 😄

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Commentary:
"Social media: where everyone's screaming into the void while mental hospitals offer crystal clear WiFi signals. 📱🤪 #TruthHurts"

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Commentary:
🐟🚿 "Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives? Maybe they're just obsessed with that 'Eau de Seafood' fragrance! 🤔😆"

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Commentary:
"Freddie Krueger definitely knows how to keep it light and breezy, especially considering his…uh, unique line of work! 😅 Who knew a name preference could be the key to showcasing your fun-loving side amidst all the slashing and dashing? 🔪😄 #FreddieVsFred"