73 Funny eye quotes

• When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

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  2 weeks ago

  answer, ask, better, confidence, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, response, sarcasm, social, social interaction, weekend, witty, witty response, yours

• Farting, but with eye contact.

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  2 weeks ago

  awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction

• An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

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  3 weeks ago

  awkward, awkward moment, dim, dim lights, exam, eye, eye exam, funny situation, lights, menu, moment, optometrist, read, situation, test, under, vision, vision test, where

• Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

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  3 weeks ago

  beauty, comment, eye, eyes, funny comment, humor, itchy, itchy eye, joke, makeup, mascara, smoky, smoky eye

• Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

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  3 weeks ago

  alcohol, combo, contact, dating, deadly, deadly combo, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, social, social interaction

• My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, communication, contact, contradiction, direct, eye, eye contact, favorite, frustration, give, humor, i, just, listen, listening, me, opposite, parenting, talking, teens, understanding

• I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

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  3 weeks ago

  big, card, card game, cause, dollar, dollar signs, expression, eye, eye expression, eyes, gambling, game, good, good hand, hand, humor, i, player, poker, self-awareness, signs, turn

• Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

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  3 weeks ago

  achievement, class, eye, eye roll, graduation, humor, parenting, roll, sarcasm, top, tween, university

• Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

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  3 weeks ago

  awooga, expression, eye, eyes, humor, men, nostalgia, socket, yell

• When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

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  3 weeks ago

  eye, humor, moon, night, November, season, time, weather

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