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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,895

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Trending via YouTube:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Spotted on WeChat:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Seen just now on Reddit:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Home » Funny Fast Quotes » Page 7

78 Funny fast quotes

More funny fast quotes 👇

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

0

2 months ago

competition, fast, humor, i, never, pencils, pressure, school, teacher, writing
I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

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2 months ago

fast, financial, humor, i, life, money, spending
I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

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2 months ago

big, Big Mac, days, fast, fast food, food, humor, i, joke, lettuce, mac, McDonald’s, think, unhealthy
I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

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2 months ago

age, always, fast, humor, i, life, old, realization, surprise, time
It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

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2 months ago

animal, fast, horse, humor, run, speed, sport, still, suck, weird
Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

0

2 months ago

fast, fast food, food, guy, humor, line, McDonald’s, me, order, pretty, rest, restaurant, sure, wait
I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty routine, ever, fast, humor, i, joke, legs, life, loss, lost, routine, shave, today, weight
Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

0

2 months ago

fast, handle, hate, humor, i, karma, lord, me, patience, timing
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

0

2 months ago

carefree, cholesterol, drive, driving, fast, health, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, risk, speed, worry
This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

0

3 months ago

chance, diet, even, fast, fitness, humor, i, lose, loss, season, summer, time, weight, weight loss

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Breaking via Messenger:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Trending via Twitch:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Going viral on X:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Trending via Instagram:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Making waves on Reddit:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Trending via Messenger:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Shared recently on Slack:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Activity Log ✨

78 Funny fast quotes

More funny fast quotes 👇

All funny fast quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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