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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

Just landed via Slack:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Trending via Slack:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Trending via Slack:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Live now on Discord:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Just shared via Threads:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Spotted on Threads:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

148 Funny feeling quotes

More funny feeling quotes 👇

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

3 weeks ago

after, age, aging, alcohol, better, bourbon, drinking, feel, feeling, feeling better, fine, fine bourbon, humor, least
My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

3 weeks ago

awesome, awkward, feel, feeling, goal, humor, interaction, life, life goal, making, me, social, social interaction
Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

3 weeks ago

contradiction, crazy, daily, daily life, exhausted, exhaustion, feel, feeling, having, home, humor, job, just, life, loneliness, lonely, want, work
The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

3 weeks ago

around, body, feel, feeling, humor, literally, moon, ocean, science, think, tide
I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

3 weeks ago

big, big hair, car, cars, declaration, feeling, feelings, gesture, hair, i, louder, love, men, miss, nostalgia, over, romantic, romantic gesture
Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

3 weeks ago

beach, close, comfort, experience, feeling, human, nap, never, post, post-beach, relaxation, serenity, shower, throw, touch
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

3 weeks ago

day, energetic, feeling, humor, i, maybe, morning, parallel, parallel universe, refreshed, somewhere, thinking, tiredness, universe, wake, wake up, wishful, wishful thinking
I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

3 weeks ago

chill, ever, everyone, feel, feeling, humor, i, know, me, need, revenge, therapy, why, wronged

For even more funny feeling quotes, hit next 👇

All funny feeling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

99 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

48 shares on Facebook this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Trending via WeChat:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Trending via Discord:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Making waves on Messenger:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Activity Log ✨

148 Funny feeling quotes

More funny feeling quotes 👇

All funny feeling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨