Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,068

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Making waves on Twitch:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Trending via Slack:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Live now on Twitch:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

51 Funny ghost quotes

More funny ghost quotes 👇

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, ghost, humor, irony, nautical, question, ship, water, why
I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

0

2 months ago

ghost, haunted, home, hope, house, humor, i, joke, need, repair, repairs, spooky, structural, structural repair
If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

0

2 months ago

agent, complain, estate, estate agent, ghost, house, humor, joke, old, property, should, supernatural
I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

0

2 months ago

believe, bro, communication, family, ghost, ghosting, humor, i, joke, me, personal, relationship, sarcasm, social, too
I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

0

2 months ago

ghost, humor, i, me, relationship, saved, self-awareness
Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

0

2 months ago

abandoned, dying, filled, flower, flowers, garden, ghost, ghosts, heart, humor, melancholy
You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

0

2 months ago

driving, existence, fear, ghost, humor, nothing, philosophy, riding, rock, skeleton, space, stardust
Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

0

2 months ago

business, dead, ghost, ghosting, humor, people, relationships, sheet
My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

0

2 months ago

anything, ghost, haunted, here, house, housemate, humor, joke, lived, noticed, strange, year’s
Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

0

2 months ago

activity, board, call, calls, fun, funny activity, ghost, ghosts, humor, ouija, Ouija Board, paranormal, paranormal humor, phone, phone call, spooky, spooky fun, unannounced, unannounced call

For even more funny ghost quotes, hit next 👇

All funny ghost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

47 shares on Reddit this month:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

57 shares on Discord this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Spotted on X:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Just landed via Slack:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Going viral on YouTube:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Freshly posted on Discord:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Trending via Slack:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Spotted on Discord:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Activity Log ✨

51 Funny ghost quotes

More funny ghost quotes 👇

All funny ghost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨