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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Going viral on Messenger:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Just landed via TikTok:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Making waves on Discord:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Just landed via Facebook:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Going viral on Slack:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

66 Funny lost quotes

More funny lost quotes 👇

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

1 week ago

amusing, confusion, forgetfulness, got, humor, humorist, i, joke, lost, minute, time
Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

1 week ago

activity, button, chance, childhood, frustration, fun, fun activity, fury, hell, lost, push, tantrum, temper, toddler
Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

1 week ago

age, forgetfulness, humor, humor about age, loss, lost, myself, self-deprecating, time, whoops
Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

1 week ago

abyss, being, effectiveness, existential, frustration, honesty, humor, humor quote, lost, screaming
I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

1 week ago

FitBit, fitness, frustration, humor, i, irony, item, lost, lost item, put, steps, taken, track, tracking, trying, where, wish
Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

1 week ago

agree, another, battle, competition, disagreement, everything, guy, humor, just, loss, lost, rap, rap battle, said
Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

1 week ago

adventure, again, being, escape, expensive, free, getting, health, humor, lost, mental, mental health, never, seen, therapy, wilderness, woods
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

1 week ago

banker, career, finance, humor, i, interest, job, joke, lost, pun, used
I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

1 week ago

appetite, doing, humor, i, keep, lost, motivation, procrastination, work
People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

1 week ago

dislike, fitness, humor, irony, lose, loss, lost, motivation, people, someone, weight

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All funny lost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

66 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Spotted on YouTube:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Breaking via Messenger:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Just shared via Slack:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Going viral on Messenger:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Activity Log ✨

66 Funny lost quotes

More funny lost quotes 👇

All funny lost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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