Commentary:
"Oh, don't worry if you don't like me, sweetie. Not everyone can handle this fabulousness 💁♀️👑 #sorrynotsorry"
1858 Funny me quotes
The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.
My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.
Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.
Commentary:
"Oh, the lost souls who sought my guidance… are they still journeying through life in circles? 🤔🚶♂️ May they have found their way by now, or are they still in the eternal maze of confusion? 😄🗺️ Remember: when in doubt, just follow the nearest confused person – they might just lead you to your destination! 🤪🧭"
Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.
Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.
You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!
“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question: 'Are you busy tomorrow?' 🤔 Well, my availability hinges on the nature of your request. Will it be tackling Mount Laundry, defeating the dishes, or embarking on a noble quest to find the remote control? 🧹🍽️🗡️ Let me know, and I'll consider rearranging my hectic schedule of Netflix marathons and cat naps accordingly! 😄"
Math is like Chinese to me.
