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5 months ago
Share →: Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Commentary:
"Talk about not even fooling your own phone! 📱😂 Looks like their lockscreens are the real MVPs detecting that fakeness! 😜 #Can'tFakeIt"
5 months ago
Share →: I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Commentary:
"Finally, a cause that everyone can get behind! It's time for men to shine just as brightly… and lucratively 😏💸 #EqualityForAll #EqualityInEveryFan"
5 months ago
Share →: Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but on Facebook, it's more like a state secret 🕵️‍♂️🤫. After 35, birthdays become classified information for your profile 😂🔒 #AgelessAndFacelessLikeANinja"
5 months ago
Share →: Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Commentary:
"Facebook: where you can catch up with your friends, enemies, and that one person who always stole your lunch money in high school 🤣👀 #FlashbackFridayDailyEdition"
5 months ago
Share →: Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Commentary:
"Whoever said spelling doesn't matter clearly hasn't been blocked after making corrections! 🚫🤓 Embrace the power of the delete button, folks! 💥😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Commentary:
"Twitter feels like a chaotic symphony where we're all fiddling away while the ship slowly sinks… and to top it off, we're roasting the iceberg! 🎻🚢🧊#TitanicTwitter"
5 months ago
Share →: Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took the term 'cringe-worthy' to a whole new level! 🤦‍♂️😂 Can we get a special category for 'Epic Fail' next time, please? 🙏🚫 #YouTubeStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Commentary:
"Looks like your DMs are going to be 90% more interesting now! 😉🔥 Keep slaying, influencer extraordinaire! 💁‍♂️💃 #StillGotIt"
5 months ago
Share →: Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Commentary:
"Girls taking bubble bath leg pics and asking 'guess where I am'? 🛁📚 Last time I checked, library vibes don't include sipping bubbly and soaking in suds! 🤣 #BookwormsBathtime"
5 months ago
Share →: Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Commentary:
"Breaking news: World peace achieved through the power of a perfectly timed selfie 🤳🌍 Who knew a fierce expression and a catchy caption could solve everything? If only the leaders of the world had known this secret sooner! #PeaceLoveAndSelfies 😂✌️"