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35 Funny mom quotes

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All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”
If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.
I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.
Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.
It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

New funny mom quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Commentary:
"When dad becomes your partner-in-crime, you know it's gonna be legendary! 🤫😂 #ShhhMomIsWatching"
2 months ago
Share →: My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Commentary:
"Maybe Mom needs a crash course in physics 🤓🌎 It's not clumsiness, it's just gravitational attraction at work! 😂🤷‍♀️ #BlameItOnGravity"
3 months ago
Share →: Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question of linguistic mastery in Boston! 🤔🇺🇸 Apparently, in Beantown, speaking English is more of a creative interpretation! 😂✈️🗣️ #LostInTranslation"
3 months ago
Share →: My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Commentary:
When your mom gives you the illusion of choice with the towels, but secretly has a favorite child… I mean, towel. 👀🤷‍♂️ #MomLogic
3 months ago
Share →: Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Commentary:
"Well, if that's the case, I guess you better stay indoors before you scare off the neighbors! Who knew your reflection could be so powerful?"
3 months ago
Share →: That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic dance of domestic diplomacy! It's like a high-stakes game of kitchen roulette – will your mom notice your stealthy dish deposit, or will you emerge unscathed, a kitchen ninja in the night? Proceed with caution, dear dish-wielding daredevil, for the fate of the dishwashing equilibrium hangs in the balance!
4 months ago
Share →: I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of modern parenting – trying to resist the temptation of naming your kids after household items or exotic foods just for the sake of Instagram fame. Imagine the chaos at roll call: 'Banjo, Parmesan, Chandelier, are you all present and accounted for?' It's a tough job being a parent, but someone's gotta do it without turning their child into a walking menu item."
5 months ago
Share →: No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Commentary:
"Never underestimate the power of a child to summon urgent needs out of thin air, the moment their mom finally relaxes 😂👶🏻🛋️ #momlife #neveradullmoment"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Commentary:
🤫 When faced with a tricky situation, just remember: nothing says "mature adult" like going straight to the source! 😂💁‍♀️👩‍👦 Brace yourself… mom's on speed dial!
5 months ago
Share →: Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the joys of trying to explain city life to parents! 🌆🗽 It's like a marathon of geography lessons every time they see something on TV and assume it's happening right next to you. 🏃‍♂️🗺️ Hang in there, Mom, New York may be big but my street isn't THAT happening! 😂🌃