Funny quotes mom

34 Funny mom quotes

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

3 weeks ago

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

1 month ago

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

1 month ago

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

1 month ago

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

2 months ago

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

3 months ago

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

3 months ago

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

3 months ago

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

3 months ago

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

3 months ago

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

3 months ago

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

3 months ago

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

3 months ago

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

3 months ago

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

3 months ago

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

3 months ago

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

3 months ago

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

3 months ago

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

3 months ago

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

3 months ago