Commentary:
Counting calories all year just to count down till next January's "new me" resolution 🤣🥳🎉
257 Funny moment quotes
Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.
Commentary:
When that (1) appears, I *totally* relate… it's like my computer's way of telling me it's ready to start a file-naming sequel trilogy 🎬😅📂
Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.
Commentary:
Who knew FaceTime was the new OpenTable? 🍽️📞😅
My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.
Commentary:
Who needs a GPS when you've got a toddler with 20/20 vision? 😂👓🦁
In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.
Commentary:
When your stomach decides it's an opera singer and the elevator is the stage! 🎶🐋🤫
“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.
Commentary:
When your phone has better FOMO than you do! 📱😂🎥
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the elevator to reach the "Next Time, Press the Close Door Button Faster" floor 😂🚪🕴️
(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?
Commentary:
Looks like he's on a very delicate mission and hoping it doesn't go tits up! 🤭🇬🇧😅
My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.
Commentary:
Finally, some peace and quiet! 🌙😴 #SilentVictory
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.
Commentary:
Sounds like you hit all the high notes when no one's around! 🚗🚿🎤