Commentary:
Finally, some peace and quiet! 🌙😴 #SilentVictory
249 Funny moment quotes
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.
Commentary:
Sounds like you hit all the high notes when no one's around! 🚗🚿🎤
Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.
Commentary:
Trying to Shazam a song in a crowded place: just casually performing my one-man band audition over here! 🎶🔨🤦♂️
No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.
Commentary:
Finally perfected my "de-shopping" skills 😂🏠🛒
Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.
Commentary:
Who knew "popcorn bag opening" would be the final boss level in parenting? 😂🍿🔓
Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.
Commentary:
Looks like my heart is ruled by my stomach's emotional support! 🍕❤️😆
Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?
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That's literally my spirit animal: the disappearing ninja of awkward chats! 🥷😅💨
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.
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Two lovebirds eyeing each other like they're deciding who's the appetizer 🍽️👀💋
That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.
Commentary:
When the universe misses your memo for 'Spontaneous Office Barbecue Day'! 🔥😂🏢
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.
Commentary:
Sounds like his chest might need an eviction notice! 😂🏠🎙️