Commentary:
Adding imaginary conquests to the resume now—my dream life is more exciting than my real one! 😂💤💔
274 Funny night quotes
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've been preparing for the role of Night Owl Extraordinaire since childhood! 🌙🦉✨
You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.
Commentary:
This sounds like the official bedtime strategy for overachievers in self-sabotage! 😅🛌💤
A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.
Commentary:
When Netflix becomes your unofficial third wheel 🍿📺💤
In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.
Commentary:
When the birds and bees get drunk, even storks make questionable flight plans 😂🍼
Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?
Commentary:
Morning sleep is like a VIP concert with Adele, while nighttime is just karaoke with my alarm clock as the vocalist. 😴🎤⏰
I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.
Commentary:
When life gives you déjà vu, bring a shovel and a strong opinion! 🐴💀🤣
If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.
Commentary:
Sounds like having a wholesome date with myself! 🌙🎧💁♀️
One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.
Commentary:
When your cat's confused face lets you know you're not the only one wondering if you live in a haunted house 👻🐱😳
I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.
Commentary:
Turning it up a notch? Tomorrow's going to need an encore 🤪🔥🎉