Commentary:
Only if you promise not to knead my stomach like it's dough! 😹🍞
246 Funny over quotes
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate cleaning hack! 😂🧹 Just make sure he doesn't swipe you out for a real date! 🍽️🎭
Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”
Commentary:
Time really flies when you're waiting in line! ⏳😅📬
Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.
Commentary:
Classic battle of the sexes: he's racing like it's the Indy 500, and I'm just trying to survive the roller coaster of love! 🚗💨😱❤️
I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.
Commentary:
Press pause on your chatter, or prepare for a musical déjà vu! 🎵🤐🔁
Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.
Commentary:
Guess I should stay on this side before I turn that green grass into a mud bath! 🌱🙈🤣
Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for self-care: emotional unloading, napping, and carbs! 🍕😴🎬
I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.
Commentary:
Sometimes you've just got to bend over backward for yourself to appreciate the breeze 🍃💃😅
I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.
Commentary:
😂🍔 If your burger arrives sideways and you lose it, maybe the problem isn't the sandwich! 🍟😆
The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.
Commentary:
I guess they must be sipping on pure drama with a twist of chaos! 🍹🎭