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Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Just shared via Facebook:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Just landed via Reddit:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Trending via Twitch:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Spotted on Facebook:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Trending via WhatsApp:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Home » Funny Shopping Quotes » Page 6

224 Funny shopping quotes

More funny shopping quotes 👇

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

0

1 month ago

awkward, awkwardness, cause, comparison, ever, feel, humor, know, retail, shopping, situation, social, social situation, store, store comparison, Target, Walmart
Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

0

1 month ago

account, aspiration, balance, being, difficulty, envy, expectations, financial, financial difficulty, financial envy, having, house, house shopping, houses, humor, humor about money, i, kitchen, lifestyle, luxury, me, million, money, priorities, property, sarcasm, shopping, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, worth, zero
There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

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1 month ago

awareness, etiquette, grocery, grocery store, humor, people, punishment, shopping, should, significant, social, social etiquette, spatial, spatial awareness, store
The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

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1 month ago

cart, experience, filled, frustration, funny experience, furious, grocery, grocery store, humor, me, moron, navigating, navigation, shopping, shopping cart, slow, slow and furious, store, through
When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

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1 month ago

body, body image, day, feel, humor, image, observation, shopping, thinnest, through, time, walk, Walmart, want
Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

0

1 month ago

activity, adult, appliances, being, buying, excited, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, maturity, new, shopping
I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

0

1 month ago

budget, financial, foods, girl, grocery, humor, just, lifestyle, shopping, Walmart, whole, Whole Foods
“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

0

1 month ago

cart, deserve, humor, indulgence, retail, retail therapy, self-care, sh, shopping, therapy, treat, yourself
Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

0

1 month ago

arts, arts and craft, business, craft, crafts, Etsy, failed, failed business, farmers, farmers market, humor, market, millennials, satire, shopping, should, unloading, vegetables
I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

0

1 month ago

annoyance, bring, domestic, home, household, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, relationship, shopping, stuff, unnecessary, wait

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Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Instagram this month:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent someone who holds me.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

11 shares on Slack this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Introverts have fun too, we just don’t care if you know…

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Going viral on Twitch:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Spotted on Facebook:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Making waves on Facebook:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Freshly posted on Threads:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Activity Log ✨

224 Funny shopping quotes

More funny shopping quotes 👇

All funny shopping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨