Funny stealing quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

  Commentary:
  "Self-checkout: where speeding through like a grocery store ninja is the name of the game 🛒💨 Who has time for precision when you can live life on the edge and risk setting off the 'unexpected item in the bagging area' alarm for that adrenaline rush? 😂 #LifeIntheFastLane"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

  Commentary:
  "Smooth criminal! 🕺🏻🍫 Talk about a stealthy snack attack – moonwalking into sweet temptation! 😂 Who needs attention when you've got a stolen brownie to moonwalk away with? 😜"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old strategy of outsmarting hoodlums by only keeping the most undesirable belongings in the garage! 🚗🔒 #Anti-TheftGoals #DeclutteringWithStyle"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the modern struggle of juggling passwords and identity theft risk! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that a strong password could also double as free identity theft protection and a gentle reminder to sit up straight? 🤣 Stay safe out there, folks! #PasswordProblems #IdentityTheftDeterrent

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the mysterious Schrodinger's Immigrant – mastering the art of being both industrious and idle all at once! 🤔💼🕰️ Should we applaud their multitasking skills or simply marvel at the quantum leaps in job security dynamics? 🤣👷‍♂️💼 #SchrodingersImmigrant #JobMarketJokes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle of the comedian: to be robbed of laughs or deprived of them entirely. 🤔💼 Either way, at least your jokes are making an impact… even if it's in someone else's set! 😂 #ComedyStruggles"

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