Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Commentary:
"Looks like cats have mastered the art of subtle power play! 🐱💥 Who knew cat style could be so sassy and savage? 😼😂 Beware, attempting to pet a cat after they've had enough may result in scratches and a lesson in feline boundaries! 😹 #CatStyleWins"
6 months ago
Share →: Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Commentary:
Them: Good morning! ☀️
Me: Where? 🤔 Probably still lost in yesterday's dreams! 😴
6 months ago
Share →: I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet liberation of house arrest – where the only ankle you need to monitor is the one kicking back on the sofa! 🏠⛓️ Embracing that stage in life where pajamas are the new power suits and Netflix is the ultimate escape plan. Who needs the great outdoors when you've got great indoors, am I right? 😉 #HomebodyGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sun, always finding a way to sneak past our defenses! 🌞😎 It's like a game of cosmic hide-and-seek with our car visors. Time to give that sneaky sun some credit for its persistence in brightening our day, no matter what we do! ☀️🚗 #SunVsVisor"
6 months ago
Share →: She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Commentary:
"Ah, the true magician in the kitchen! 🎩✨ Who needs a wand when you've got a sandwich maker that can work wonders? 🥪😄 #SandwichMagic"
6 months ago
Share →: They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the mile-high smoking lounge! Because nothing says 'taking flight' quite like a nicotine fix with a side of fresh air…or turbulence. ✈️🚬 Just remember to buckle up your seatbelt and hold onto your ashtray! 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive Print-on-Demand House Service! The printer whisperer in action – providing on-demand printing magic for that ONE crucial piece of paper. 🖨️💫 Just don't forget to give the printer a farewell pat for a job well done until next year! 🤣 #Printaholic"
6 months ago
Share →: I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Commentary:
Oh, a classic case of arachnid anxiety – poor spider must be having an existential crisis now! 🕷️🏃‍♀️ Hope you left him a tiny note saying "You're not safe yet, little buddy!" 😉 #Spidernapped
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Commentary:
"Who needs intuition when you can have a full stomach of snacks instead? 🍟 Trusting your gut might lead to some tasty decisions, but let's keep it focused on the snacks, not life choices! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Commentary:
🍔🔥 "Introducing the Tinder for foodies – where finding your perfect dining match is just a swipe away! 📲💑 Who needs words when you can let the food do the talking? Bon appétit, and swipe responsibly!" 🍣🍕