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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Making waves on Facebook:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Trending via Discord:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Breaking via Snapchat:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Just shared via Twitch:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Making waves on Reddit:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Trending via YouTube:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they're undergoing a full reboot to factory settings! 💖🔧😂

again, color, color preference, emotional, emotional healing, girl, girls, healing, i, liking, means, pink, preference, start, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

0

2 months ago

car, cars, cream, funny idea, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, minor, minor offense, music, offense, over, play, police, police car, should, something, truck
I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

0

4 months ago

attitude, clue, cluelessness, confidence, doing, good, humor, pretty, self-deprecating, someone
On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

0

2 months ago

access, balance, conflict, hand, humor, internet, irony, technology, terrible
I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

0

5 months ago

AI, before, ChatGPT, conversation, end, ever, friend, humor, i, ID, interaction, life, loneliness, social, social interaction, talk
I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

0

2 months ago

aging, anything, average, confidence, consider, humor, i, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecating, well
Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chef, compliment, compliments, fart, funny situation, humor, i, joke, just, moment, panic, situation, someone, work, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

82 shares on X this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

34 shares on X this month:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

25 shares on Slack this month:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Breaking via Twitch:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Making waves on YouTube:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Going viral on YouTube:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Breaking via YouTube:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Trending via Instagram:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨