Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the mighty power within us all – we can conquer mountains, slay dragons, but heaven forbid we sit through a symphony of chewing! 🙉🍽️ #SelectiveSuperpowers"

capable, chew, doing, food, humor, listening, lot, people, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

0

2 months ago

age, brag, cranky, crisis, humor, i, life, life stages, man, mid-life, mid-life crisis, midlife, old, old man, stages, straight
It feels like a million o’clock right now.

0

2 months ago

clock, exaggeration, expression, feels, humor, million, right, time
Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

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2 months ago

admit, appearance, attraction, dating, dress, dude, fashion, fine, Funny, girl, girls, humor, medium, nice, style, super, ugly
Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

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2 months ago

born, forced, frustration, group, group work, hell, humor, interaction, irony, office, office humor, raised, sarcasm, sarcastic, say, social, social interaction, stupid, work, workplace
“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

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5 months ago

access, finance, good, house, humor, i, internet, joke, leave, money, online, online shopping, personal, personal finance, pretty, self-control, shopping, spending
There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

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5 months ago

beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

57 shares on WeChat this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Going viral on Discord:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Trending via Reddit:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Just landed via Telegram:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Going bananas on X:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨