I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.