Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Spotted on Discord:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Trending via Threads:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Going bananas on Facebook:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Trending via Reddit:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've been promoted to the honorary position of the "starter boyfriend." 😂👫👉⬆️

boyfriend, daughter, family, girlfriend, humor, looking, much, own, parents, proper, relationship, started, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

0

5 months ago

apology, boop, button, communication, hoping, humor, i, joke, mute, mute button, nose, sorry, sound
They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

0

4 months ago

feeling, feeling rested, humor, invent, invention, rest, rested, should, sleep, sleeping, tired, type, wake, wake up, where
Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

0

3 months ago

clean, cog, core, machine, morning, night, productivity, self-care, sexy, shower, vibe, vibes
The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

0

2 months ago

3, am, best, contact, dreams, fantasy, humor, humor quote, imagination, late, late night, me, meet, night
I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

0

2 months ago

catch, confidence, dating, flirt, fun, humor, me, never, relationship, romantic, single, too
Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

0

2 months ago

commentary, community, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, psych, psych ward, social, social media, staff, Twitter, ward

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Slack this month:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

15 shares on X this month:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

31 shares on Slack this month:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Just landed via Messenger:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Going viral on Discord:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Live now on Slack:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Going viral on Threads:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Live now on Snapchat:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨