Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Just landed via Threads:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Trending via Discord:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Seen just now on Threads:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Just landed via Facebook:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the jolly guy with a beard has some explaining to do! 🎅🤔🎄

16, Christmas, guess, here, humor, i, joke, jokes, mall, me, parent, parents, real, right, Santa, teenager, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

2 months ago

disappointment, gift, giving, humor, keeps, land, magic, magical, Monday, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek
Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

2 months ago

appreciation, being, communication, else, humor, i, lol, nothing, say, thanks
I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

2 months ago

chore, domestic, domestic humor, expression, face, floor, funny expression, funny face, glad, household, household chore, household mess, humor, i, just, laundry, machine, mess, nobody, sock, spot, washing, washing machine
You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

2 months ago

fear, humor, i, me, minutes, panic, scare, two minutes, wallet
A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

5 months ago

fabric, filled, much, needle, nostalgia, sewing, tomato
Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

2 months ago

anxiety, encounter, escape, escape room, every, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, humor, know, observation, room, social, social anxiety, social encounter, someone, store, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Going bananas on Threads:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Breaking via Threads:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Trending via YouTube:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Intelligence is now free, and the golden age of the nerd is over.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Seen just now on X:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Going bananas on Discord:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨