Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Just shared via Telegram:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Going viral on X:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're dating a human snooze button 😴💕👉⏰

actually, alarm, alarm clock, annoyance, babe, before, clock, full, hour, humor, love, me, morning, only, partner, relationship, sarcasm, starting, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, being, cool, ever, existence, horror, humor, irony, life, peace, sex
You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

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2 months ago

apology, bring, childhood, dad, family, feelings, humor, hurt, i, mistake, tool, tools, used, wrong
If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

0

2 months ago

airline, captain, class, first class, flight, humor, joke, travel, upgrade
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

after, aspiration, day, fame, health, hospital, humor, irony, maybe, me, mental, mental health, recognition, school, self-deprecation, street
Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

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2 months ago

anxiety, around, dislike, dislike socializing, every, hate, having, homebody, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, people, personal, personal space, relatable, remember, social, social anxiety, socializing, solitude, space, time, why
Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

0

2 months ago

art, conversation, diplomacy, forward, hell, humor, journey, politics, relationships, sarcasm, someone, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

51 shares on Threads this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨