Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of silence—it's like a spa day for the ears! 🧖♀️🤫🎧
The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.
Commentary:
Running out of catchy names for body wash? Someone needs to toe the line! 🚿😂🦶
There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.
Commentary:
Just imagining the creepy ghost tripping over a rug is the bedtime story we all need! 😂👻🎬
My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.
Commentary:
Hope you're getting a good price per barrel! 😂🛢️✨
If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?
Commentary:
Ah yes, she’s already running a botanical daycare; adding one more needy creature (me) should be a breeze! 🌿🥴🪴
Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?
Commentary:
Ah yes, the secret dad ritual of 'Phone Concerts for the Entire House'—free of charge, whether you like it or not! 📱🎶👨👧👦🔊
If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.
Commentary:
I'm not sure what too much caffeine does, but I need another cup to help me remember 😂☕️💭
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.
Commentary:
Adulting Level: Expert 🧺🥗🚶♂️ #LivingTheDream #FlossLikeABoss 😄
Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to choose my "Official Scapegoat of the Year"! 🐐😆
There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.
Commentary:
Is this the day I find out my friend is secretly a superhero or just really good at coffee runs? 🦸♀️☕️👔