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Fold laundry on the timeline? I thought Twitter was more like a public therapy session 🍿🧺 #LaundryDay #Confessions
The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.
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When your nosiness finally pays off with a PhD in everyone's business 🕵️♀️😂📚
We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.
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Guess we just agreed to let the magical hot wind take the lead in our kitchens! 🍟✨🍃
Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.
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Finally figured out adulting: staying blissfully unaware and always having pizza ready! 🍕🤯
Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.
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When that (1) appears, I *totally* relate… it's like my computer's way of telling me it's ready to start a file-naming sequel trilogy 🎬😅📂
I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.
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Looks like you took team bonding to a whole new level 🌿😂🚬
McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.
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Sounds like we need a 'McFix-it' lane! 🍔🔄🥤
Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.
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Acting like a medieval knight might just be the only logical next step in adulting! 🏰⚔️😂
Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.
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Looks like I’ve finally found my calling in life as the ultimate medium ugly enthusiast; now I just need to work on my wardrobe! 😂👖😎
There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.
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Looks like we've all just agreed to play along with the world's longest game of "Guess the Day" 🤔📆😂