Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,037

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Freshly posted on X:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Just landed via Telegram:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Spotted on Facebook:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Just landed via Threads:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Spotted on TikTok:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Just shared via Snapchat:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

More funny quotes 👇

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

0

5 months ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

0

5 months ago

birthday, birthday wish, born, buying, celebration, gift, humor, i, myself, nice, personal, personal treat, self-care, shopping, something, today, treat, wish
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

5 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

0

5 months ago

courage, fear, humor, mindset, nothing, once, positivity, situation
I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

0

5 months ago

attraction, boyfriend, Funny, hot, humor, i, know, stranger, strangers, want
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

0

5 months ago

else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works
I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

0

5 months ago

active, avoidance, humor, mindset, peace, procrastination, relaxation, self-care, through
I drive like I’m immortal.

0

5 months ago

drive, driving, humor, i, immortality, reckless, reckless driving
You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

0

5 months ago

anything, early, humor, leadership, management, meeting, meetings, motivation, person, productivity, time, time management, work
My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

5 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

72 shares on Threads this month:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Breaking via Threads:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Trending via Messenger:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Spotted on Discord:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Breaking via TikTok:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Just landed via Discord:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨