Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Breaking via Discord:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

More funny quotes 👇

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

0

5 months ago

advice, deodorant, humor, hygiene, i, know, life, situation, still, tough, tough situation, wear
“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

0

5 months ago

commentary, feel, humor, normalize, once, sarcasm, shame, social, social commentary
Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

0

5 months ago

being, city, different, else, expense, expensive, family, humor, kid, kids, parenting, price, price tag, put, tag, travel, ungrateful, vacation
Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

0

5 months ago

give, humor, plot, plot twist, sign, twist, universe, waiting
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

0

5 months ago

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry
Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

0

5 months ago

cheeky, fishnet, humor, little, orange, oranges, playful, ripping, slutty
Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

0

5 months ago

artist, artists, band, big, calling, fan, humor, last, music, name, nickname
No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

0

5 months ago

affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

0

5 months ago

challenge, escape, escape room, game, good, humor, just, luck, mental, mental game, mind, room, thought, thoughts
Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

0

5 months ago

acceptance, ever, feel, guilt, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, pleasure, self, self-acceptance, why

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Threads this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

12 shares on Slack this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Shared recently on Threads:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Going viral on Slack:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Shared recently on Slack:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Just shared via Messenger:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Trending via YouTube:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Just shared via Messenger:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨