The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Commentary:
Guess I'll be staying perpetually young at heart, washing my hands like every day is my birthday! 🎂🧼🤣

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Commentary:
Sounds like your dad was the original HVAC influencer! 😂🌬️🤷‍♂️

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Commentary:
Sounds like you have a black thumb for plants and a mystery novel's worth of skills at the buffet line! 🌱❌📚🥘

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Commentary:
Burp therapy: the only weight loss plan I can stick to! 😅🤷‍♂️🎈

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Commentary:
Sounds like a nightmare study group is in session! 💤👻😱

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Commentary:
Guess I need to find a new hobby that won't involve dodgeball training 😂👉⚠️

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Commentary:
Looks like even Gandalf couldn't handle the epic smell battles and orc-style fashion show! 🧙‍♂️💨😂

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Commentary:
Guess it's time to swap out the lip gloss for some knee pads! 💄🦵😂

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Commentary:
Sleeping away the sadness like a pro 😴💤 #HackLife

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Commentary:
Trying to return my adulthood for store credit. 🛍️😅📈