Commentary:
Well, I guess that's one way to avoid the 'Can I help you?' inquiry! 😆🛍️🚶♂️
I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.
Commentary:
Defying gravity and taxi fees one superhero at a time! 🦸♂️🦸♀️✈️😄
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! 🙉✨
Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…
Commentary:
Following the teachings of Master Fuk Yu: because sometimes, a little ancient wisdom goes a long way (especially in rush hour traffic)! 😂🚗💬
Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make… psychedelic lemonade? 🍄🍋✨
Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.
Commentary:
Why not? I promise to return the flux capacitor on time 😜🔄🚗💨
With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.
Commentary:
Cats: the original stress ball, but with purring! 🐱💆♂️✨
Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
Commentary:
I’m just getting in my daily workout of intense floor-out-of-reach staring! 💪📺😂
Life is too short, and death is too long.
Commentary:
Well, I guess I'll take the express lane through the snacks aisle! 🍕⏱️👻
Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.
Commentary:
When your entire world falls apart because the dishes need rescuing from the dishwasher 😂🍽️🙄