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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Spotted on Messenger:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Freshly posted on X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Just landed via Messenger:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Spotted on Twitch:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Shared recently on Slack:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Just landed via X:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

1 month ago

Playful quote highlighting mistaken identity due to youthful appearance.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic confusion between age and maturity – it's like mixing up broccoli with chocolate cake! 🧓🏼🤔 Don't worry, being mistaken for an adult is just a sign that you've already mastered the fine art of adulting… or at least looking the part! 😄👔 #ForeverYoung"

adult, age, humor, irony, me, mistake, people, perception

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

68 shares on Slack this month:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

16 shares on X this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Live now on Slack:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Just landed via Snapchat:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Just landed via Twitch:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Going viral on Instagram:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Trending via Discord:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Live now on Instagram:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Spotted on Discord:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Making waves on Discord:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

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