Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Going bananas on Discord:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Going viral on Discord:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Going bananas on Threads:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're hustling so hard you need a backup hustler, not a sucking leech 🏋️‍♂️💼💸 #HustleDuo

carrying, collaboration, dead, dead weight, economy, expense, expensive, here, hustler, leech, teamwork, together, too, weight, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

2 months ago

believe, career, childhood, cover, cover letter, dream, dumb, ever, fun, girl, grow, having, humor, i, letter, letters, little, pony, rainbow, ride, sarcasm, space, work
Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

1 week ago

able, apartment, housing, increase, landlord, market, opinion, rent, rent increase, rental, rental market, rights, should, tenant, tenant rights, unpopular, unpopular opinion
For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

2 months ago

Facebook, humor, i, identity, introspection, know, media, online, online identity, self-expression, social, social media, strange, strange thought, thought, thoughts, time
No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

2 weeks ago

awkwardness, eye, eyes, humor, just, no rizz, pretty, pretty eye, rizz, say, self-deprecating, thing, things, unsettling, unsettling thing
A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

2 months ago

12, 12 step, couch, exercise, getting, humor, just, laziness, me, motivation, program, self-improvement, step
I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

3 months ago

afford, affordability, comparison, door, humor, i, lids, open, Tupperware, vehicle, wing, wing door

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

37 shares on X this month:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

48 shares on WeChat this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Just landed via Telegram:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Just landed via Reddit:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Just shared via TikTok:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Just landed via Threads:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Breaking via Instagram:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨