Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Live now on WeChat:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Shared recently on X:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Going viral on Instagram:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess he's dunking on sin now! 🙏🏀 #HolyHighJump"

after, air, Air Friar, basketball, basketball player, friar, humor, joke, jordan, michael, Michael Jordan, order, player, pun, religious, religious joke, religious order, sports, sports humor, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

0

2 months ago

bit, conflict, early, guys, humor, i, irony, leave, me, mind, request, timing, today, war, workplace
Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, attraction, chemistry, cook, cooking, crush, date, emotional, emotional intelligence, emotionally, hot, humor, intelligence, intelligent, man, manifestation, serendipity, staring
I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

0

2 months ago

fun, funny moment, great, great time, humor, i, moment, realization, self-esteem, self-image, time, ugly
Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, chaos, family, full, house, humor, kids, live, parenting, people
My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

0

1 month ago

give, humor, i, just, kid, kids, M&M, marriage, me, room, secret, seeing, serious, snack, surprise, talk, thought, wanted, wife
People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

0

5 months ago

activity, fly, fly kite, glad, humor, kite, nostalgia, over, past, past activity, people, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

46 shares on X this month:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

56 shares on X this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Just shared via Facebook:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Trending via Snapchat:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Just landed via TikTok:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Going viral on X:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨