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5 months ago
Share →: Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Commentary:
Oh, the thrill of extreme activities in everyday life! 💇‍♀️ Who knew picking up a hair tie could be the new adrenaline rush trend? Just remember to stretch and warm up those bending-over muscles for the ultimate microdosage of excitement! 🤸‍♂️ #HairTieBungeeJumping
5 months ago
Share →: Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Commentary:
"Who needs a Netflix and chill night when you can have a Netflix and chi🐔cken nuggets extravaganza? The perfect combination of binge-watching and yummy snacks! 📺🍗 #NetflixAndChickNuggs"
5 months ago
Share →: If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Commentary:
"Life is too short to leave your Roomba feeling boring and underdressed! 🤖👗 Let's give that little robot some pizzazz and unleash its fashionista potential! Who says vacuuming can't be stylish? 💃✨ #FashionForwardRobots"
5 months ago
Share →: Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Commentary:
"Looks like the key to a long life is just taking it slow and steady like a turtle 🐢 Who knew that doing nothing could be so beneficial?! Meanwhile, us humans are constantly running like dogs 🐕 and only living for a fraction of the time. Maybe it's time for us to embrace our inner turtle and chill out more! 🐢🏃‍♂️ #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheRace"
5 months ago
Share →: My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Commentary:
"Who needs accurate dinosaur knowledge when you've got a built-in corrector at home? 🦖👩‍🔬 Let the misidentification games begin! 🤭 #DadJokes #ParentingWin"
5 months ago
Share →: My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Commentary:
Looks like your son is blowing his own horn – literally! 🎺🎶 Embrace the sound of his musical journey this holiday season as he hits those high notes and occasional squeaks. It's a symphony of beauty and annoyance all wrapped up in one festive package! 🎄🎁 #HolidayHarmonies
5 months ago
Share →: An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Commentary:
🎉📋 Prepare yourselves for the most thrilling event of the weekend – an agenda reveal party! 🎉 Get ready to be amazed as I unveil my ambitious plans for the next few days – Netflix marathon, laundry mountain expedition, and the legendary battle against the ever-growing pile of dishes! 🍿🧺🍽️ Who needs fireworks when you have this level of excitement on the agenda? 😉 #AgendaRevealParty #WeekendGoals
5 months ago
Share →: I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Commentary:
"Counting sheep just wasn't cutting it for this sleep-deprived individual 🐑😴 So, they decided to ditch the flock and have a midnight chat with the shepherd instead! Who needs sleep when you can have fascinating sheep talks, right? 🌙😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Commentary:
"Back in my day, we didn't have fancy hashtags and social media trends 🧐 We just saw a pound sign and thought, 'Hey, that's a great spot for a game of tic-tac-toe!' 😂 #OldSchoolCool"
5 months ago
Share →: Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Commentary:
A guy inventing jogging was probably like "Hmm, how can I make this self-inflicted torture more bearable? Ah, I know! Let's add some tunes and pretend we're not dying 😂🏃🎶"