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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

4,087

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Trending via TikTok:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Making waves on Instagram:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Breaking via Messenger:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

24 Funny argue quotes

Funny argue quotes bring a hilarious twist to those heated moments when words fly and tempers flare 😂🔥 Whether you’re winning, losing, or just enjoying the chaos, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor to every debate 🗣️💥 Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even settle a friendly feud with a smile 😄✌️ Let the playful banter begin!

New funny argue quotes 👇

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

0

13 hours ago

argue, argument, conversation, debate, food, food debate, hi, hotdog, hour, humor, online, sandwich
This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

0

1 month ago

anything, argue, argument, community, debate, discussion, humor, literally, online, online community, people, site
People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, conversation, debate, head, humor, imagination, inner, inner voice, life, me, mental, mental debate, mind, people, real, voice
There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

0

2 months ago

answer, argue, argument, conversation, grok, hopes, humor, little, man, manipulation, nothing, pathetic, sad, sad man, wants, watching
Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

0

2 months ago

activity, argue, argument, creativity, drama, fun, fun activity, just, pictures, Pinterest, pretty, relaxation, therapy
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, beat, conflict, experience, humor, idiot, level, logic, wisdom
Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

0

2 months ago

argue, compliment, confidence, curly, curly hair, flattery, gorgeous, guy, hair, humor
You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

0

2 months ago

argue, communication, fast, female, humor, relationship, reply
You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

0

2 months ago

agree, argue, argument, conversation, humor, just, leave, me, sarcasm, wit
When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, believe, competition, correctness, grammar, humor, i, online, people, spelling, spells

For even more funny argue quotes, hit next 👇

All funny argue quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Slack this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,917

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Breaking via Telegram:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Live now on WeChat:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Spotted on Instagram:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Making waves on X:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

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