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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Trending via YouTube:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Just landed via Discord:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Spotted on Discord:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Just shared via X:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

15 Funny artist quotes

Funny artist quotes 🎨😂 bring a splash of color and a dash of wit to the creative world! Whether you’re painting, sketching, or just doodling, these clever sayings will tickle your funny bone while celebrating the quirks of artistry. Ready to laugh and get inspired? Let’s dive into the hilarious side of the art life! 🖌️🤣✨

New funny artist quotes 👇

For even more funny artist quotes, hit next 👇

All funny artist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

51 shares on Threads this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Going viral on Messenger:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Trending via Pinterest:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Shared recently on X:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Just shared via Slack:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

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