Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Making waves on X:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Live now on Threads:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Making waves on Telegram:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

11 Funny bagel quotes

Funny bagel quotes 🥯😂 are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of humor to your morning routine! Whether you’re a cream cheese lover or a plain bagel fan, these witty sayings will make you smile and crave a tasty bite. Get ready to laugh, share, and celebrate the roundest, most delicious breakfast treat with a side of punny fun! 🥯✨ #BagelLove #MorningLaughs

New funny bagel quotes 👇

For even more funny bagel quotes, hit next 👇

All funny bagel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

51 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

100 shares on Discord this month:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

87 shares on X this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Tested positive for being single af

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Trending via Snapchat:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Making waves on Reddit:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Shared recently on X:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Trending via Messenger:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Seen just now on Discord:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

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