59 Funny boyfriend quotes

• Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

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  2 weeks ago

  app, boyfriend, calculator, calculator app, doing, equation, girlfriend, humor, jealousy, relationship, relationship humor, through, toxic, toxic girlfriend, why

• I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

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  2 weeks ago

  boyfriend, compliment, dog, friend, friends, girl, good, humor, i, love, pet, quiet, relationship

• Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

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  3 weeks ago

  around, boyfriend, distraction, funny observation, glance, Google, Google Maps, humor, i, just, looking, maps, navigation, observation, over, relationship, relationship humor, scrolling, sometimes

• Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

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  1 month ago

  alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still

• My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

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  1 month ago

  boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever

• Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

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  2 months ago

  boyfriend, conversation, darkness, friend, friendship, hello, humor, i, joke, me, old, rejection, relationship

• Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

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  2 months ago

  boyfriend, car, direction, driving, funny statement, humor, incompetence, incorrect, just, malice, never, relationship, statement

• Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

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  2 months ago

  absolutely, another, awkward, awkward interaction, being, boyfriend, daughter, every, family, hate, hospitality, human, humor, interaction, life, me, nice, question, relationship, watching, while, wife

• You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

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  2 months ago

  boyfriend, breakup, humor, relationship, stuff, throw, throwing, window, woman, women

• A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

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  2 months ago

  best, boyfriend, coworker, dynamics, friend, friends, friendship, humor, relationship, social, social dynamics, workplace

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