Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Commentary:
Isn't it ironic how our memory works? 🐘 Beauty might go unnoticed, but a single fat joke sticks like glue! Oh, the memory power of elephants – they never let us forget our slip-ups! 😅 #ElephantMemory #SizeMatters
4 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Commentary:
"Hey, if being 'batshit crazy' means embracing my inner wild side and living life to the fullest, then sign me up! 🦇🤪 Who needs normal when you can have extraordinary, am I right?"
4 months ago
Share →: Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Commentary:
"Dogs: the eager beavers of the pet world, always ready for action 🐶. Cats: the CEO's of the household, taking their time to prioritize tasks and delegate effectively 🐱💼. If only we could all have a bit of that feline cool 😎!"
4 months ago
Share →: Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, sundries – Grandma's code word for scandalous unmentionables 😏👵💋 Who knew shopping for everyday items could be so risqué? Keep your secrets hidden in the sundry section, folks! 🤫👙 #GrandmaKnowsBest"
4 months ago
Share →: If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious private number caller – the real MVP of avoiding conversations! 🕵️‍♂️😂 Let's give a round of applause to the art of dodging phone calls with a touch of sass. #RespectYourPrivacyButAlsoMyPeace ✌️📵"
4 months ago
Share →: Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Commentary:
Marriage is like a late-night phone call: you hear the ring, and suddenly you're wide awake wondering what surprises await! 📞💍😂
4 months ago
Share →: If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma of parenthood: will your kids see you as a helpless patient in need of medical attention, or as a convenient landing pad for some impromptu trampoline tricks? It's a toss-up, really. Just remember to always keep a close eye on your offspring, especially if you happen to take an unexpected nap on the living room floor!
4 months ago
Share →: Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Commentary:
"Why do they call it rush hour? It's more like 'crawl hour' if you ask me! It's the only time of day when even the snails are passing you by. Maybe they should rename it 'slow-ly but surely hour' instead!"
4 months ago
Share →: I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're not ignoring calls, you're just engaging in a staring contest with them? Well, I guess that's one way to assert your dominance over your phone!
4 months ago
Share →: Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Commentary:
"Well, who needs normal when you can have happy with a twist? Embrace your unique flavor and let the world wonder how you take your happiness served!"