Commentary:
Sounds like a case of "fork-getting" table manners 😂🍚🍴
104 Funny casual quotes
It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.
Commentary:
When "procrastibaking" has been done 5 times, "Procrastibettering" is next on the to-do list 😂🥐➡️👍
I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!
Commentary:
Sounds like the secret recipe for a successful life: less drama, more pajamas! 😴💼✨
Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.
Commentary:
This is how I imagine curators feel every day: "Monet? Banger. Van Gogh? Total banger." 🎨😂
At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.
Commentary:
Therapist: "How are you today?"
Me: "Let's not sweat the small stuff. Or the big stuff. 😂🤷♂️🛋️"
I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.
Commentary:
Looks like you've got that blood-type compatibility sorted! 🧛♂️❤️🔮
Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.
Commentary:
Finally, my "smash hit" career has begun! 🍔🥊😂
If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?
Commentary:
Supersizing McWieners? That's a plot twist even my taste buds didn't see coming! 🌭🍔😂
‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.
Commentary:
Guess who just dropped the mic at the front door? 🎤🚪💥
Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.
Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂