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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Just landed via Slack:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Making waves on Messenger:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Making waves on Threads:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

589 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

0

2 months ago

activity, chores, day, day off, humor, laundry, management, nothing, relaxation, rest, should, something, time, time management, weekend
Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

0

2 months ago

activity, blankets, build, cozy, day, fort, fun, fun activity, imagination, indoor, just, pillows, play, stay, staycation
You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

0

2 months ago

attitude, bad, bad day, both, day, days, ever, finger, fingers, frustration, funny attitude, humor, humor quote, middle, middle finger, sarcasm
Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

0

2 months ago

AI, ChatGPT, conversation, coworker, daily, daily life, day, end, every, humor, joke, life, new, office, say, technology, used, workplace
When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

0

2 months ago

6, am, broke, daily, daily life, day, dizziness, eating, finances, financial, financial struggle, humor, hunger, life, money, poverty, struggle, whole
Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, cancelation, canceled, day, freedom, getting, leisure, life, love, plans, relaxation, snow, snow day, surprise
Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

0

2 months ago

day, entertainment, every, exercise, floor, humor, i, laziness, people, procrastination, relaxation, remote, right, show, TV, watching
Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

0

2 months ago

chores, daily, daily life, day, dishwasher, family, humor, irony, just, life, teen, teenager, teens, told, worst, worst day
Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad boy, boy, day, garbage, garbage day, humor, looking, management, mischief, missed, play, rebellious, rules, today, waste, waste management
You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

0

2 months ago

costume, day, dress, dress up, helmet, humor, humorous, humorous quote, laundry, laundry day, playful, quirky, tell

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All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

10 shares on WeChat this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

52 shares on X this month:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Going bananas on X:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Going bananas on Twitch:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Seen just now on Messenger:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Just shared via Telegram:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Activity Log ✨

589 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨