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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1084 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,246

Funny Quotes Topics

14,149

Funny Quotes Images

11,246

1 minute ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Just landed via Twitch:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Just landed via Instagram:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Trending via Messenger:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Spreading quickly via X:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Home » Funny Drink Quotes

121 Funny drink quotes

Funny drink quotes celebrate those moments when our beverage choices lead to laughter and good times! 🍹😂 Whether it’s the hilarious struggle of making the perfect coffee, pretending that wine is a food group, or the chaos of spilling your drink at the wrong time, these quotes remind us that sometimes the best conversations happen over a drink. Cheers to the comedy in every sip! 🥤🍷🍸

New funny drink quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Commentary:
When the sun clocks in, my beer clock starts ticking—I'm just following the laws of fizz-ics! ☀️🍺😄
2 days ago
Share →: We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Commentary:
Why support a favorite team when you can support a favorite couple? 🍸🏝️ #LoveGoals
2 days ago
Share →: I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Commentary:
Why stop at orc? Add some Red Bull and become a full raid boss! 🧃🐉
2 days ago
Share →: Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Commentary:
Rock on, I’ll take two prehistoric pilsners! 🦴🍻
3 days ago
Share →: I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Commentary:
Looks like you've got all weather conditions covered! 🌞☔️😂 Cheers to year-round hydration! 🍻
6 days ago
Share →: Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Commentary:
Ah yes, the perfect plan for discovering secrets or inventing new ones! 🥃😂🤐
1 week ago
Share →: The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Commentary:
Making waves in productivity one bathroom break at a time! 🚰🚽💦
2 weeks ago
Share →: Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Commentary:
Sounds like I'm the same comedian whether I'm sipping tea or tequila 🤔🎭🥃
2 weeks ago
Share →: There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Commentary:
Feeling personally attacked by this violent act of "peanut butter mouth"! 🥜🚫💦🤣
2 weeks ago
Share →: My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's time to caffeinate and captivate! ☕😉 #EverydayGoals"

For even more funny drink quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny drink quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1084 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,246

Funny Quotes Topics

14,149

Funny Quotes Images

11,246

1 minute ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Making waves on Reddit:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Trending via X:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Breaking via TikTok:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Going viral on YouTube:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

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